Women & Guns

chickenmama · Joined: 08 Mar 2008 Posts: 2 Location: Minnesota

perhaps an even better tactic for the "gentleman" in question to use with his wife would be to sit down and talk with her about it...something along the lines of "honey, i love you and i'm worried for your personal safety. would you please tell me why you aren't concerned for yourself? are you scared of guns? why? what would make you change your mind? would you be willing to at least take the nra "refuse to be a victim" class?" ...and then, just let her talk, and let her think.

locknload · Joined: 30 Nov 2007 Posts: 178

Many men have the idea that they can and are supposed to "fix" the "little lady's" problems. For others, it's a control issue. They don't understand that some women really don't need "fixed" as much as we need to be listened to.

For instance, have you ever talked about a problem with your significant other, only to find him begin to fix the problem for you, when all you wanted was for him to hear you and/or commiserate with you? You're not finished talking it out with him, and he's already solving it for you and telling you what you should do about it.

Men "do," women "emote." That's what makes men the providers and protectors and women the nurturers and homemakers. It is also what makes communication so very difficult between us, when topics like these come up. Men are thinking and acting in one direction, while women are feeling and responding in a diametrically opposed direction.

Until they both realize that each wants only the best for the other, and until they both realize that the adult response is not to force one's will on the other, neither one of them will end up with a positive outcome from your scenario. Most women understand and have experienced that men need to "do" and "fix." However, most men haven't a clue that women don't want to be "fixed," but we just need to be listened to and have our opinions valued. Until these guys learn to listen to the needs and fears of their women, they will always meet with resistance.

Some women will never be able to pull the trigger on another person. They just aren't emotionally made to survive that kind of event. The guys need to understand that and allow her to develop her own ways of protecting herself ... or learn to pray that God will provide protection for her. Oh, wait! Shocked

He has! He sent the guy to protect her, if she chooses not to protect herself! Laughing

These guys just need to understand that and drop it.

If they are the control freaks, they will never drop it, and she'll eventually either divorce him or give in to him and end up physically or psychologically ill.

Badgerwoman23 · Joined: 25 Dec 2006 Posts: 771 Location: Colorado

Maybe he could buy her a book and hopefully she'd read it. Something like "Armed And Female" by Paxton Quigly comes to mind. But he still can't make her if she chooses to not carry. Every individual has the right to choose for themselves what they feel is best for them. We may not always agree, but accept their choice.
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Sammie
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Proud Momma of TWO United States Navy Sailors!
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bluestarlizzard · Joined: 15 Jul 2007 Posts: 322 Location: c-ville VA

i hate to say this, but i think a guy who's dumb enough to come up with this plan, is probably not very skilled with the talking. Rolling Eyes

Pax, maybe you should add an article on your site about this sort of thing. that way when it comes up, you can just point them in that direction, instead of having to write a reply.
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"Oh please, nobody died last time!" -Saffron

pax · Joined: 18 Jul 2006 Posts: 304 Location: WA state

Bluestarlizard,

Smile

Well, I was thinking about that, to tell the truth.

Thing is, I wasn't sure if it would have the same effect as telling a kid not to shove beans up his nose.

"Beans!? Up my nose??? COOL! I never thought of that before...!"

Rolling Eyes

pax
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My website: www.corneredcat.com
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Wharf Rat · Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 261 Location: Texas !

Pax,
Why don't you condense this thread and post it on your website.

It may not be any more effective than the bean lecture, but at least you can say "Here is what other people, both men and women, think of your plan."
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